Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Thankful

How can it already be August?!!? I swear we were just getting out of school for summer break and filling up our calendar with play dates, trips to the zoo, library, and museum, picnics and swimming.  And now back to school ads are filling up the TV screen, the radio waves, and the newspaper.

And for the first time in five years, well like twenty years, I am not going back to school in the fall.  Not as a student and not as a teacher.

I hadn't really let that thought sink in much when I handed in my resignation letter a few months back.  Didn't really take time to think about how that would change me.  But oh my, it's a weird feeling.  Not having a classroom to prep, little trinkets to buy, and looking back at old plans and blogs for fresh ideas.  It is a surreal experience.  And to be honest, I am a bit sad.  I loved being the classroom.  I loved the new set of kiddos I met each year.  I loved being able to teach them new material in fun and interesting ways.  I sure did love all the things my students taught me.

I also really loved that independent part of my life being all mine.  I am learning that being a stay at home mom is hard.  And anything being all yours is, well, rare. I can count on one hand the number of times I have not been interrupted in the bathroom this summer, or eat a meal without having to stop 762 times. I can count on my other the number of times I have gone somewhere on a weekday in non workout apparel or blow dried my hair or applied makeup.  I don't have those twenty minutes between drop offs at the sitter and school to gather my thoughts or decompress after a long day.  And there are some days that I go almost all day without an adult conversation.

Yet, even though all those changes are challenging me in a whole new way, I really wouldn't trade it.  This summer has given me so much insight to my boys.  I have got to live life day in and day out with them, just the three of us a lot of the time as Andrew has been working away.  They have leaned on me heavily and I have had the opportunity to feel how strong I can be in God's strength.  (There ain't no way this mama could have done these past three months on her own *without* the strength of the Almighty!) I haven't had to miss one, single part of their day; one special moment; one first.  And I won't have to now.

One thing I always struggled with as a working mom was how I felt like I was missing the most impressionable years.  Birth through 5 are such important years in a child's development.  Those are the years parents can really start instilling truths to their kids about who they are, what they believe, right and wrong.  I couldn't imagine missing out on that.  ***That being said, I know some of the BEST mamas who work full time outside of the home and having AMAZING kids!!*** For me, I have always struggled with balance.  Andrew's job opportunity transferring us away has given me the opportunity I don't know if I would have had otherwise.  And I am thankful for that.

So this fall, I wish all my teacher friends the best of luck as you begin another year.  For I know all too well how important your jobs are.  You are responsible for the greatest gift we have in the world, children.  I am so thankful that I get to take full responsibility for my greatest gifts, Hudson and Beau.

1 comment:

  1. Enjoy your time as a SAHM. It is the most rewarding time you will have with your boys. Sometimes it will be the most difficult time, but then the good days and the everyday life moments far outweigh those moments that are sunshine and happiness. :) It goes by so quickly.

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Hi! Welcome to this crazy life! Thanks for stopping by! I love hearing from my readers and connecting with you all! Xoxo~Bekah