Tuesday, September 3, 2013


I think the night before big events can sometimes be almost, if not more exciting, than the actual event.  I don't know if it's the anticipation, the fact that your idea of what to expect is the only reality you have so it can go as perfectly in your mind as you would like it.

I distinctly remember all the big "eve's" in my life before a MAJOR change took place.  The night before my wedding I went home to stay one last time as a single girl.  I remember finding sleep difficult and slow to come as I thought about the next day, filled with such giddiness and excitement that I would have to calm down all over again to try to seek sleep.  I remember thinking, "Tomorrow, everything will be different." I would never come to my parents' house as just their daughter.  I was taking on a new last name and pledging my heart to a man and our dreams.

I went through the same feelings the night before each of my boys were born.  We were induced with Hudson so I knew that the next day would be labor or baby.  Talk about getting no sleep. Same thing with Beau.  Sweet booger stayed in all 40 weeks so we knew that at our appointment the next morning we would be scheduling something.

I have those same anxious feelings today.  Tomorrow, finally, after FOUR (count 'em, FOUR!) months of doing the whole live separate during the week gig, we are closing on our new home. And I am beyond excited to be reunited as a family and see Andrew every morning and night. And, let's be honest, to have help with the boys during bath, during meltdowns, or just when mama needs a minute! We have our  paint bought and ready to go on the walls, some new decor purchased and plans for how to turn this house into our home.  Yet, even though all of that is so exciting, my anxiousness has less to do with excitement and more to do with sadness.

I thought that having all this time to prepare for the move and soak up all kinds of moments and memories this summer would help us transition into seeing our loved ones less often.  Nope. Not true.  I told Andrew last night that I really wish we did this like pulling off a Band-aid, quick and with as minimal pain as possible.  It is like my heart is have a bi-polar episode not knowing how to feel.

So as I prepare to move all our things into our new home (I seriously can't wait to clean and get decorating! I know that will help!), I am once again relying on faith to help me take this next, final step in the process.  I am applying the very verse our pastor used in this weekend's sermon:

"Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6


No comments:

Post a Comment

Hi! Welcome to this crazy life! Thanks for stopping by! I love hearing from my readers and connecting with you all! Xoxo~Bekah