Over the past few months, if you have followed the blog at all, you know our family went through some big changes. Andrew took a new position which led us to selling our home, moving to a new town, and me becoming a stay at home mommy. One thing I haven't talked about is a very big, personal change that has occurred in my own life.
I am so blessed to be at home with my boys every day. It was something that I always desired and planned on doing; but in my own time. When this move happened, the idea of finding a new job, in a new school most likely a new grade, moving, and trying to find daycare for the boys was just TOO MUCH. In a way it forced me to hang up my teaching hat. (I say that with absolutely no bitterness, just a bit of truth about the situation.) And as much as I had longed to stay home, the feeling of not working, of not having a purpose that defined me outside of my role as a wife and mother, and the idea of not contributing financially was very overwhelming, and in truth, a little depressing.
I get so much joy out of being Andrew's wife, Hudson and Beau's mommy, a friend, a daughter, a sister. But teaching... it gave me that place that wasn't wrapped up in what I did or who I was for others. It was a place that I was known on my abilities to do a job, and to do it well. I was scared that I would lose that piece of me that loved to be creative, to interact with others; a passion to do something well. Yet everywhere I looked, I could not find something that allowed me to stay home and earn an income that I could also be passionate about.
I am the type of person who has to have a personal investment in what I am doing. I have to believe in it. It has to hit me in my core. Otherwise, it won't stick. It would be a phase.
As Andrew and I spent the weeks apart, I could slowly feel myself not focusing on me. I was focusing on the boys, the house, packing, bills, nursing Beau, paperwork for closing, and all sorts of other things. I didn't like that feeling. I didn't like how I looked. I was 6 and 1/2 months post Beau and still didn't feel like I fit in my skin. So I decided to dedicate nap time to me. Every day when the boys went down for nap, I worked out. You see, months prior, I connected with a friend who was getting really fit and so healthy and I knew I wanted that. I purchased some DVDs from her called Brazil Butt Lift. I began doing them in January and got really great results. She was a coach through Beachbody (a company I knew like nothing about) but she held me accountable to work out daily. I asked for assistance again but this time I went a little deeper. I asked her about coaching. She was staying home, helping others (people like ME!) get healthier, fitter, happier, and earning an income. She took the time to explain to me the business, how she was connected through a team, connected me to another successful coach who discussed the reservations I had (because I had LOTS!). But I knew. Have you ever had the feeling deep down, when you hear about something, or learn of an opportunity- you just know that it is what you are supposed to do? What you are waiting for? That was the feeling I had.
So two weeks in to my fitness journey, still feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, still retraining myself to eat better and make the time to eat (I skipped a lot of meals because I was just too busy), I became a coach. I was not the ideal picture of health or fitness. I was no expert. But I vowed to myself that I would do the work, show others it could be done, and if they reached out to me, I would help them find their way too!
Two months passed really quickly. That is how long my workout program was. Two months. I did it 6 days a week when the boys were napping or after they went to bed. Over those two months I became happier. I woke up feeling more energized. I was more focused throughout the day. I slept better. I grew confident in my body again. No it wasn't perfect. I still had loose skin from two pregnancies and 2 c-sections, and stretch marks, and scars. But I didn't care.
So what does this have to do with goals and resolutions? I was a girl that had made resolutions for so many years. In high school I always resolved to lose a few more pounds, get into a smaller size. In college, I said I would workout every day, eat right. But what did I really do? I quit. I gave up. I ate poorly. I tried crash diets, pills, not eating...
EVERYTHING!!! I wanted to be thin for all the wrong reasons; trying all the wrong things. I had joined gyms and quit. My weight yo-yo'd. When pregnant, I didn't make the wisest choices believing that pregnancy was a free pass from exercise and eating right. (I'm a smart girl, I knew better.)
I can look back at years and years of pictures that I said I would change, that I would "resolve" to change, and I never did.
So why did this resolution stick? Because it wasn't a resolution this time. It was a goal. What I learned is that before, I dreamed of being skinny. But I didn't have a plan. I didn't know how to achieve it. But then my dream changed; it shifted. I didn't desire to be skinny. I desired to be healthy. To live a long, full life with my family. You see a goal is still a dream. But it is a dream with a deadline and a plan of action to make it happen.
Not only that, but because I followed my gut, my heart, what I know now is my CALLING, I got to become part of this amazing team. This team that heard my goal and said, "You'll get there. We will HELP you get there." How amazing is that? My desire to help others ended up changing my life. It helped me. That sad, overwhelming feeling of being lost without a bigger purpose- GONE! God truly directed my path to becoming a coach. To becoming someone who focused on herself so she could better serve others.
So let me ask you? Did you make goals or resolutions this year?
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| Mid June to Mid August with Brazil Butt Lift |
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| Size 10 to a size 2 |
