Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Being A Boy Mom

As our delivery date is quickly approaching, I can't help but seem to reflect on being a boy mom.  Some days Andrew gets home from work and in the chaos of playing outside, the boys running around, or me trying to get dinner going, I ask, "Seriously. How are we going to handle another boy?"

I always knew I wanted to be a mother.  It was a desire in my heart that dates back the furthest.  Mothering was instinctual when it came to my babies and my little brother.  Growing up with two brothers, being in a family with both genders, I naturally assumed I would always have my own little family mixed with some boys and girls.

I can remember the weeks leading up to our 20 week ultrasound.  I was focused on the baby being healthy first, but I also was trying to get some inkling as to what the gender would be.  The pregnancy didn't feel different, and although most gender test results revealed girl, I kept telling Andrew that I thought boy.  Not because of mother's intuition, but because, if I'm being honest, I didn't want to get my hopes up.  I sound terrible, right? Ungrateful even.  But that wasn't it.  I just knew that Andrew and I were to a point in life where we wondered if this was going to be our last pregnancy and I didn't want to think girl and find out it was a boy and be slightly disappointed.

At our ultrasound, it was a family affair.  Andrew was there and we took the boys since we live further from family and our appointment was mid-day.  When they announced boy and began talking about how he was measuring and assuring us he was healthy and on track, I felt relief.  And I felt a bit of panic--THREE boys three and under?? And then I felt a bit of sadness.  No proms.  No wedding dress shopping.  No sidekick to go get a pedicure with. My mind kept replaying that saying: "A daughter is a daughter for life. A son is a son until he gets a wife." {Who wrote that diatribe up anyway??} I wondered, as if my boys were leaving the nest any day, if they would get married and get wrapped up in a family other than our own; if my future daughter-in-laws would love me and see me as a companion and not just the mother-in-law.

Well time has passed and God has used his Holy Spirit, His word, and some sweet truths spoken from dear friends, to reveal to my heart how lucky I am to be a boy mom.

I may not ever have that companionship with a daughter to do girly things with, but I get the honor of teaching my boys about the girly things, so they are sensitive and attentive to their one day wives.

Being a boy mom may mean football practices and sweaty pads over dance recitals and ribbons, but I get to encourage them to use their strength that God has placed in them in ways to serve Him on and off the field.

Being a boy mom means that I am the first female my boys will love. That I am the model who shows them what being a wife is; what being a mother is; what being a woman after God's heart looks like.  They will look to me for that without even knowing it.  The responsibility of that task is overwhelming, yet God has thought to give me three boys to show that to.  Humbling doesn't begin to describe.

Being a boy mom means that as their mother, I get to have those sensitive conversations that help them understand that female mind given my perspective.  I get to help shape my boys into men that see women as God created them to be; not as the world idolizes, sexualizes and promotes them to be. I will be the one who has the conversations about clothes and make-up with my boys so they can recognize true beauty, inner beauty in a world that bombards them a focus on outer.

I have the great task to pray for their future wives, my future daughters.  To pray that God keeps her safe and pure.  To pray that God molds her into a woman that will fit perfectly with my son, that they will compliment one another and lift each other up. To pray that I will be another mother to her and that our relationship will be blessed.

I have the responsibility, my husband and I, to teach our boys to be strong without apology; to be men of integrity and faith; to be servants; to be dreamers.  I have the responsibility to teach our boys that there are some things that men do better {just as there are some things women do better} and to be proud of those things.

As a friend pointed out, our country, our world, is in desperate need for men of God. Men after God's own heart.  And God trusted three of them to Andrew and me.

There are perks of being a boy mom I never really noticed until this past summer as Hudson is really becoming my big boy.

I always get all the flowers.  I get the first kisses and their hugs.  They are gentler with me than with their dad.  I won't have to have the birds and the bees talk with any of my boys (same gender parent does that one).  I get to eat my meals out in peace {kind of} because it is Andrew that takes our Hudson to the restroom.  I don't have to worry about explaining why a crop top or booty shorts are inappropriate.  {PTL boy clothes are easier..at least right now} They come to me when they are sad and I can make it better.  They can express why they are sad versus having to many emotions to articulate {their mama totes that quality}.  On a long car trip if someone really has to go, we have the option of just pulling over for a quick stop {no rest area needed}.

So maybe I won't get to watch my daughter try on a wedding dress.  {Or maybe this baby isn't the end of babies for us.} But my prayer is I grow my boys into men who choose women who will allow me to be present.  My prayer is that I partner with God for this task.  And that I always thank Him for the blessing it is to be a boy mom.

credit TEP

credit TEP


  1. Bekah...you are truly blessed! I know that those little boys have a wonderful mommy and daddy...praying for them...and bringing them up to love and serve God with all their hearts! I'm blessed to see what God is doing in each of your lives!

  2. Great post Bekah! You have 2 little boys who love you to the moon and back and one little boy who is going to arrive soon and love you just like his brothers. You are an amazing mom who's bringing them up to love God, which you're right, we do need more men like that in this world. :)

    1. Thanks, Tiffany! It is overwhelming the responsibility of parenthood--boy or girl parents! Thankful for mamas like you raising their girls too! :)

  3. Being a boy mom as well, I can tell you, I was flooded by those same thoughts. I joked with myself about it at first...and then, naturally, I cried and cried. Someone someday will win my son's heart. And honestly, thinking about it now still stings, but what you've written has really helped. Thank you!

    1. It does sting! No one talks about that part of being a boy mom sometimes! Glad it helped you! :)


Hi! Welcome to this crazy life! Thanks for stopping by! I love hearing from my readers and connecting with you all! Xoxo~Bekah